New Year, New Me?

12 Jan

I hate this saying. Really, I can’t say that I hate it because I don’t care enough for it. More like, I am utterly confused by this saying. In order to be a new person, you couldn’t have existed before. You have new cars, new shoes, new houses, and newborns. A new you as in a new hairstyle? A new perspective on life? Those I can understand. A new you because you lost weight, not so much.

It is January. Even if you had no concept of time, the bombarding of weight loss commercials would’ve told you. Diet companies increase their budgets each year, but we never see them like we do come January. They make want to punch someone in the face. Seriously.

I had to examine my reasoning for why I can’t stand these commercials and why I can’t stand when dummies say “a new year, a new me”. If I was to ask someone, they would probably respond think:

“She’s jealous because they are doing something to change themselves for the better and she isn’t.”

Or something along those lines. Most wouldn’t dare say it out loud in my face (maybe on twitter or FB to get likes RTs and likes). They would probably say this:

“Oh probably that stuff is a waste of money, you could do better just dieting and exercising on your own.”

Heffa is that what I asked you? The nerve of people to think that I want to lose weight. Seriously.

So I put my thinking cap on. Am I jealous? Do I wish I could hold up a pair of my old pants and cast them to the wind (gone with the wind fabulousity) while revealing my thin self in some skinny jeans? Do I want to put on an old shirt to show how it now fits me like a moo moo? Do I want to show side by side views of me? One being fat and unflattering and the other being slim and made over? Blah. Is it really me just jealous of a woman who has accomplished something so many women set out to do each day and fail miserably?

So I thought about it.

And thought some more.

And thought it again. My conclusion?

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll NO.

I refuse to be jealous of anyone who chooses to relish in “thin privilege”. By thin privilege I mean people congratulating you on no longer being fat, lazy, worthless, lack self-control, unmotivated and unsuccessful. Because that’s what all fat people are right?

I guess the annoyance comes from the ads and attitudes from people who set out to tell me that losing weight and no longer being fat gives them the right to be happy now. As if they couldn’t live life the way they wanted because society told them they were too fat. As if only thin people deserve to travel, have a good job, wear cute clothes, date a hottie, etc.

For one none of those things make you happy. There are people of every size who do the very things mentioned above each day and they are utterly miserable. Why? Because you can’t find happiness in others or “things”. If you were fat and had low self-esteem, then you will be thin or thinner with low self-esteem. (Is that why the majority gain it back and end up yo-yoing for the rest of their lives?)

The worst offense I’ve seen is the Jennifer Hudson commercial. You’ve seen it too. They show a clip of her singing when she was heavier and starting her career. She looks goofy, unpolished, and little unsure. It wasn’t because she was still a novice in her path. Nope. It was because she was fat. Then we see her singing the SAME song as a thin woman who is now polished, mature, and confident. And we’re supposed to believe it’s because she lost weight.

If you or anyone you know believed that or agreed with it, give me all of your money. Just give it to me now, because I have a whole crock pot of shit waiting to sell you.

I don’t think Jennifer Hudson believes this. I think Jennifer saw $$$ and agreed to portray a false image for others to buy into. I’m not gonna demonize her for it because that’s what most superstars do. I will hold her accountable and say that she could’ve really been a positive role model for fat acceptance. Here is a woman who rose to stardom, sold millions, and won an Oscar all while being fat. Yet, her self-confidence was reduced to her weight. *rolls eyes*

That was my discovery. That my real disdain is the fact the people are reducing themselves to a number, on the scales or on their dresses. There is nothing I can relate to there because I KNOW that I am sooooooo much more than what a scale says. I don’t wish to be a size 2 or even a 12 for that matter.  So no I won’t be pressured into thinking that I must be happy for your personal achievement of seeking self-worth through a number or else am I jealous.

Happiness is being content and finding pleasure with who you are now. I can’t tell you how to find it or how to become it, but I can show where it is NOT and seeking approval for your outward appearance will not lead you there.

That is all.

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